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You'll be so glad it wasn't you.
Dana wanted desperately to be in the show. Then Dana read the script. Then Dana wanted desperately to be out of the show; a bizarre, experimental, student production. Opening Night and Closing Night were the same night. There would be ONE performance. Audience by invitation only.
It's Dana's first college production and he's going to be tested – can he appear onstage saying … that, doing … that, and, oh, my God, wearing that. His grade depends not only on being … that, but by turning in a convincing performance. Take a deep breath, Dana, it's time to be outrageous. Only an over-the-top performance can save him. The starting point is hysteria; then it gets seriously weird.
Would you do anything to star in a show? Read this and it just might change your mind.
Another minor diversion here. Polar bears are notorious for letting you think you're hunting them, then disappearing. Puzzled, you look around. There's a tap on your shoulder and you turn, sensing all is not well and the bear's RIGHT THERE – eight feet tall, mostly teeth, claws and noise. For this production, that polar bear's name was “Costumes.”
READ MOREThe philosopher's rags were fairly standard: sandals, worker's boots, 19th century suits, overalls and a made-for-the-religious robe for Moses. Anachronistic, but harmless.
Then things took a turn.
COLLAPSEAmazon Customer on Amazon.com wrote:I needed a laugh so I checked into this short story; I got several! The author takes a situation so ridiculous its hard to perceive and then paints it so well that you have to believe it and roll with it. What I really liked was the images from theater 101 to the presentation of "an original play, and the lengths students would go to back in the 70s. Looking back, there was a lot to laugh about back then.
frosting junior on Amazon.com wrote:Dana, thanks for the smile this story put on my face. I believe I'll wear it the rest of the day. Good on you, mate!
Therese Duncan on Amazon.com wrote:The only thing I didn't like about it was that it ended. Touches on the absurdity that we all face in life. This is an example of the familiar question we all face in at various points in life "What the hell is going on here and how do I get out?" I laughed because I was grateful it wasn't happening to me. This is a coming of age story that you don't want to happen.
VK on Amazon.com wrote:Huse is a rare writer with wry humor, intelligent unique style, engaging like Vonnegut. Enjoyed this from start to finish! More please!
Charo on Amazon.com wrote:Huse's distinctive and outrageous humor come to the fore as he spins his tale of entering college, hoping that his dream of becoming a "brooding, smoldering presence" will propel him toward a life in the theater. It is absurdity in its grandest form--all the more so because as Huse assures us, the bazaar events that unfold really happened. This reading promises a head shaking and laugh out loud audience!
Christina Wolf on Inkitt.com wrote:That was a fun read -- with Dana's articulate narrative, I could visualize everything so clearly! Being a Theater Arts Major myself, I appreciate the memories of camaraderie as well as unexpected gaffes in productions, but this is a whole nutha level!
Dawn Porter on Amazon.com wrote:Good!
One of the best stories in humor genre. I always love new things. This is a new breath in humor genre. I recommend this book to all humor lovers. You will love it from the bottom of your heart. When you do not have mood, you can read it. You will have increase in your mood immediately. The story is written in an interesting and unique way. Just start the story and you will not want to stop. It will flow in its own way… I would rate this story quite high. Great work done by the author!(*)(*) (*) (*) (*)
Dana Macy on Amazon.com wrote:Funniest read in a long time. Huse can make the most dreadful experience into a "laugh out loud" moment. Seemingly insignificant moments become a reason for humor. Can't wait for his next one to be published!
K Simmons on Amazon.com wrote:With Salinger/Vonnegut-like vision, Huse dives head on into the soul of the human condition. And there we are, playing our parts in the insanity and beauty of it all. Huse salvages buried-for-decades secrets and parades them in full light, unveiling those moments where to not say ‘YES’ amounts to soul-death. Gotta just do it. Time to “cease fire” and trust. Just as Huse writes "becoming more careful, he becomes more dead." And, “the urge to flee"—Ha! I know that one. I laughed. I cried. The paradox of equal parts order and chaos makes the sweetness of life. That’s all there is. Huse is a visionary of sorts. Zoom out, hover over the chaos. Hell, we are the play and the actors in the play—a beautiful thing indeed. Read his author page. You’ll laugh. Brilliant.
Dana Macy, Author of 'Fragments of a Fragmented Life
Byron Tidwell on Amazon.com wrote:Delightfully fun read, bringing back memories of my own college theatre experiences. Hilarious descriptions which draw the reader into this ridiculous situation making you empathize with that feeling of "how do I get out" of this mess. My only criticism is that the ending felt a bit abrupt. Still, it was a quick and fun read -- well worth the time. Thanks for the laughs!
A rollicking romp of Dana Huse's experiences in a misbegotten beginning acting class experimental production. Starting with acting exercises that encourage near drowning, sexual harassment of the Dean of Students during the course of performance, and the unfortunate result of a climactic toilet flush, Dana keeps you laughing out loud and empathizing with his predicament. Read it and weep - from laughing!